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Message |
    
Ejthe77th
bear cub
Username: Ejthe77th
Post Number: 1
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 6:43 am: |     |
Here is a link to a recount of a dream I had relatively recently. I attempted to write in a different style to the one I fall most easily into, so feedback is my boyfriend please leave constructive criticism here, keeping in mind that I am just a 17 year old little girl. :P |
Colpul
bear cub
Username: Colpul
Post Number: 36
Registered: 8-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 3:38 pm: | |
Ejthe, well written. A 17 year old girl with a brain, how threatening. I like the unusual connection of words. "The people are ready; their expectancy not yet trite." The prose had a drawing in meter to its pace with a nice flow.
We only live our dreams while we are dreaming, remembrances of dream often appear detached as if we are watching ourselves through a window. You wrote in a detached style as if we were watching the dream that encourages the reader to interpret the dream but I would be interested in how you interpret this dream.
""Utilizing satellite technology and these [2 clamps], we will redirect all global telephone communication into an endless voice mail system. And once a person is on the line, the array and amount of choices will render them occupied, busy, and unable to defend the earth for a full 72 hours - more than enough time for a well-prepared mouse to seize control of the planet." The Brain
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